Looking doesn’t mean you’re going to find it.

14 Nov
November 14, 2012

A client recently explained how, after one kiss, she is able to tell whether a guy has any long-term potential. I listened, waiting to hear more (and secretly hoping to pass along her trick to all of you). 

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INT. – HAIR REMOVAL STUDIO – EVENING

Client is laying on the table, staring at the ceiling. Her arms are crossed, her feet hanging off the end. Sofie is removing her hair, looking down at client’s legs while she works.

CLIENT

So, I had another date last night.

SOFIE

Nice! Same guy as last time?

CLIENT

No – different. I met this one at a show. At The Harold, actually – and I should have known. Anyone you meet at The Harold is a douchebag.

SOFIE

Ooohhh…hmmm.

Client sighs heavily and crosses her arms even more tightly.

SOFIE

So. You went out with a dude from The Harold? How did it go?

CLIENT

Not that well, actually. I mean, we had a nice time and all. Conversation flowed pretty easily the entire night. He’s attractive enough. And…I mean…he seemed to enjoy himself. At least I guess he did. He kissed me.

SOFIE

And that’s bad.

CLIENT

Well, it’s not bad, exactly. It just wasn’t a great kiss.

SOFIE

Not great how?

CLIENT

I don’t know…there just didn’t seem to be any chemistry. It was fast, and seemed like he just wanted to….get it out of the way or something. Like kissing me was kind of…obligatory.

SOFIE

So will you see him again?

CLIENT

Umm. Probably. I mean, I’d like to give him one more chance. He did seem like a nice guy. But if the chemistry doesn’t improve, I don’t know. I just don’t know if he’s a good match.

Sofie looks up sharply. Client’s foot jerks as Sofie extracts hair from around her ankle. She yelps about the pain.

 SOFIE

So you can tell from one date and a kiss whether the two of you are a good match?

CLIENT

Well, yeah. You can tell a lot from a person’s kiss, you know? Like how caring they are, and how much time they’ll take in bed. Whether there’s long-term potential.

SOFIE

True. But isn’t that kind of rushing the decision?

CLIENT

I don’t think so. I’m just not interested in casual dating, you know? If it’s not going to go anywhere, or if he’s not going to be good boyfriend material, I’d rather not waste my time.

SOFIE

Hmmm. Ok. Turn over, please. Time for the back of your legs.

Client turns over onto her stomach as Sofie waits for her to make herself comfortable. Scene fades as Sofie continues sugaring.

———

Here’s the thing: A couple drinks, a couple hours conversation, and couple of lips touching doesn’t tell anyone anything except how the other person’s breath smells. Do you sit next to a stranger at a movie and expect to become girlfriend and boyfriend by the time the credits roll?

I didn’t think so.

So why, then, do some people sit next to each other on a barstool and expect to be exclusive by the time the check comes?

Chemistry is rarely an immediate thing. And expecting it to be puts all kinds of pressure on yourself, the guy, and the situation. If you want immediate long-term potential, go with an arranged marriage (or at least eHarmony). If you want an actual boyfriend, try getting to know someone before you judge.